Not Turning On A Dime– The expression “to turn on a dime” does not necessarily mean a change for better or worse, just a quick change. Something that turns on a dime changes direction very quickly, more or less instantaneously.
In Yuri’s situation, it’s anything but quick changes except for the ones he’d be used to when playing his violin. Listening to his recognizable, unique licks, I especially love the ones that take me out and leave me hanging on to the last trailing of its exquisite note. We’re both hanging on to those notes.
We all want answers. What is this? What’s happening? Why is Yuri on an even keel one day and the last two days his heart goes off on a wild tangent– beating at an unsustainable rate. Meds to lower the heart rate; meds to fight the blood inflammation; meds to maintain blood pressure, meds, meds, meds. It’s maddening not seeing the improvement I desperately want to happen, a positive change, for him to get a little bit better, a little bit stronger, for me to keep a positive outlook, keep praying, keep on keeping on.
Yuri’s been in three hospitals in four weeks. An infectious disease doctor who saw him once during the first week called after hours and we talked about those very questions that wake me up at three o’clock in the morning. They don’t know. And they can’t find out or take biopsies that could lead to an answer because Yuri is too sick to even be moved from his room. The doctors and nurses assess every aspect that could endanger his physicality.
A lot of things have piled up and if one wrong Jenga move is made, the tower can fall apart. Just as the Doctor advocated for the power of prayer, I mentioned that Yuri’s oxygen saturation level is 95-97% with the oxygen intake at 60%. He told me how pleased he is at hearing this as his lungs are self-cleaning. They are a remarkable organ system that, in some instances, have the ability to repair themselves over time.
He believes Yuri has a fighting chance to get out of this mess and then we can move forward with finding out what it is that made him so sick in the first place. Not a quick change, but one that is positive enough for me to hang onto it as if it’s one of those lovely string-fellow notes that Yuri puts out on the sublime handling of his violin.