The Unexpected Present


Tube B or Not Tube B or the Tube & I

Yuri typing

by Yuri Turchyn

Coming home from Rehab felt like a triumph. The first two weeks were tough physically and mentally. Emotionally, it was heaven. It’s the Quiet that makes me content. Everything else will happen in good time.

There was a nuisance with the nutritional intake. Loaded with carbs and proteins, it still had to go through a tube feeding, a “PEG” (Percutaneous Endoscopic Gastrostomy), a surgical procedure for placing a feeding tube without having to perform an open laparotomy (a surgical incision into the abdominal cavity). This was done on May 25th. Many moons ago.

Christina was skeptical at first. She didn’t want to have anything to do with it. But after realizing the number of calories, vitamins, and nutrients necessary she complied. Meds would be administered via tube as well; crushed and liquified along with the Osmelite, a brand, if one were to drink it orally, would probably taste chalky. A new cocktail with Stolichnaya Vodka mixed in I say would have made it palatable. Na Zdorovlya. Bottoms up. Skol, Prost!

However, it wasn’t always so simple. Whenever I burped, sneezed, or coughed during the ritual feeding, if we were not quick enough to close the tube, the contents going into the stomach would spew out like a volcano erupting. Here’s to the Tube & I– separation anxiety!

Eating became an obsession. I imagined the taste of food in a quiet and reserved fashion. Salivating over “YouTubed” recipes saved for future dining adventures. They are bookmarked and ready to become reality. After graduating from mashed potatoes to solid food for almost a week, Christina and I were at the Gastroenterologist’s appointment, requesting the doctor remove my feeding tube. She said “Yes.” I was excited to the max.

Despite a good yank at the tube, she was unable to remove it at the office. Dang Nabbit! During the long time since its insertion, my body has gotten wed to the tube. No easy divorce here! An endoscopy will be performed in a week’s time, outpatient wise, at a hospital. I went this far with it, what’s another week.

PS: Another milestone: Occupational Therapy ended. I graduated. Cap and Gown time. I shifted the tassel from one side to the other. “Yuri T, please step up to the podium and give your Valedictorian salute.”

Tube Be or Not Tube Be: Hamlet was contemplating his own death in
Shakespeare’s soliloquy.
I am looking forward to life’s bountiful recipes; may they be food for thought and the palette.

Breakfast At The Laundromat Cafe

Reykjavik diary.
Flight lands
Dark in cold summer August.
Afghani bus driver speaks of his home and her…
His spouse a native Icelander.

We arrive at the Laundromat Cafe;
Opens for morning repast mass.
Locals, tourists stream through
Passing the basement of wash loads while the coffees brew.
A “Dirty Breakfast: took my cash.
I broke a tooth on volcanic ash;
A hidden gem in my breakfast food.
It was not on the menu.

Related Articles

Kinderhook Farewell

Last Tango in Aberdeen Let It Shine

There will always be a recalling of an event when an immense upheaval creates a collective memory for all times.
Permafrost Tapes

Storm Tracker and the Permafrost Tapes

This morning we did what normally we’ve done since our marriage and on a Sunday in August 2011, we were reading the paper about Hurricane Irene blowing through the weekend. I stayed up all night.
I'm Still Here

World Away Kinderhook to Kharkiv 477

Fifty years ago, in August 1972, near the guest campsites, an Eagles tune drew Yuri to a parking lot where he joined Jerry Kopychuk and Andy Fediw in a harmonious blend of mellifluous vocals.
Nell on PEMF

Natural Therapeutics Make Healthy Waves

Yuri's next stage of recovery includes a fist bump from his nephrology doctor, “keep doing what you are doing.” and natural therapeutics working with his speech pathologist extraordinaire.
CK+YT @Woodstock

Telling Our Story

We find a purpose in life, not just a lifestyle to live by, taking on life’s challenges with words, music, time stamps and postcards.

Air Guitar Wedding

Who, What, Why Is This Happening?